They always say you shouldn’t trust what you read online. How bad can it be? Well, in terms of Kai, pretty bad…
REVIEW by Michal Okonski
It was a chilly Sunday morning on the sofa. I had a sudden epiphany where I thought to myself, what on Earth is Brunch? Lunch and breakfast in one? So, instead of sitting about, I thought I’d go investigate.
After a thorough Google search to find out what the best brunch place in Leicester was, I went to Kai with my girlfriend. A small restaurant tucked into St. Martin’s Square, I was excited to find out what all the fuss is about.
I walked in and one thing that hit me instantly was that it was busy. Very busy. Luckily the very stressed waitress found us a table next to the door, which was pretty breezy every time someone walked in. And people did walk in – before we’d even received a menu, they were already turning people away because of full capacity.
How sad, I thought, they won’t be able to eat here. Looking back, I wish I was one of the people turned away so I didn’t have to eat there.
The menu was simple, with either pancakes (in the sweet section) or food with eggs (the savoury options) along with some sides. It looked like lunch food, so I still don’t get brunch at this point.
Now I’m a savoury type of guy, but I decided to try something new: the French toast. Bananas, strawberries and maple syrup – what’s not to love?
Since I was in Leicester, I also decided to get a classic Chai Latte. The waiter took my menu and asked me to pay upfront – weird, I thought – but I went along with it anyway. My partner decided to get two sides and a large Chai too. We paid – get ready – £27. Quite a lot for just two lunch meals. I mean brunch, sorry.
A short wait gave me time to appreciate the décor – think an industrial estate had crashed into Instagram, that sort of thing. The mise-en-scene was boring but the hanging greenery was a welcome touch. It was also loud. Extremely loud. Me and my partner could not talk properly at all.
What struck me too was how young everyone was – the average age must’ve been about 25. They were also probably roped in by the online reviews.
The food arrives and the waitress just places it on the table without asking whose it is. I have to awkwardly slide my food over to me. She then runs off, no ‘enjoy!’, nothing. The drinks hadn’t arrived at all.
I tuck in – the brioche is thin, with not much structure. The fruit though, is quite nice, but it’s hard to mess up fruit. A real let down was the maple syrup, though. It was extremely watery and couldn’t hold much flavour.
So, with flavourless toast and maple syrup, my favourite thing was the fruit. Think eating cardboard with some icing sugar, that’s what it felt like.
The drinks arrive slightly later and we were presented with two drinks the same size, although we ordered two different ones. Before I can even say anything, the waiter has walked away at 45mph.
It’s not like it was even good Chai, either. There was no flavour, so they might as well have called it ‘hot steamed milk.’ My partner told me she felt robbed. I did too. Have they tried their own drinks? While all this is happening, we’re getting cold feet from the breeze coming in. Oh dear.
To be fair, looking around, I think the place would get better at night. The lights near the bar are cosy and the cocktail menu looks nice, if not a bit simple. Maybe an evening meal? But surely that’s not brunch…
I finish up my disappointing food and almost before I can take a breath, a waiter swoops in to grab my plate like a hawk. And then also flies away at the speed limit.
My girlfriend finishes her average hashbrowns in Siracha and cheese, but I can’t really hear what her thoughts are because of the volume in there. Later she tells me the flavours didn’t work well. We both agreed that while it looks good on camera before you tuck in, the poor quality of ingredients is not what we expected. The breeze comes back.
We wash down our food with some steamed milk, wincing every time we do. And that’s it. The waiter doesn’t have to talk to us since we’ve already paid. It feels weird. There’s no ‘thank you for eating here’ or ‘have a good day’, nothing.
I now realise why that was – they just wanted to get people in and out the door as quickly as possible. I get that – but we still didn’t feel appreciated or welcome – and when you pair that with food that’s not great, it’s not a good look. It’s an unwelcoming atmosphere.
It also started raining just before we left. Pathetic fallacy much?
So, is this what brunch is? Rushed service, boring food and the volume turned up to 11? Yeah, I’m not sure I get it either.
So that’s it, we walk out and notice a sign near the door. It says, ‘the best breakfast in Leicester – voted by you.’ This must be a joke. There’s no way. Who voted in that? I won’t be returning to Kai anytime soon.
After some flavourless food in a city full of flavours, my girlfriend looked to me and said: ‘takeaway later?’
I could not be happier.
