Breast cancer is brutal – you can succeed in fighting it but there is always the chance it could recur. This was the case, not just once, but twice for Wisbech mum-of-three Emma Barnard. Feature writer Molly Lee details Emma’s journey with cancer, which is now terminal
Wife and mother of three, Emma Barnard, had to sit her children down in their Wisbech home to tell them some news. She and Darren, her beloved husband of 27 years, are always open and very honest with their kids. They don’t believe in sugar coating things. Although it would be very hard to do so with this news.
Their three children, Julie (now 23), Maggie (now 21) and Harry (now 15) heard the news they didn’t want to hear. Their mum has cancer again, for the third time since 2014.
This time it’s not just in one area. It’s in her lungs, liver, kidney – just about everywhere. It’s terminal.
“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” says 49-year-old Emma, who loves all her children dearly. “It’s not something I’ve asked for, but it’s because of me that my kids are hurting.
“That is the worst feeling in the world, it’s worse than being told that you’ve got it,” says Emma.
Emma’s first experience of cancer was in 2014 when she had a year-long cough that she couldn’t get rid of. After several visits to the doctor, they couldn’t find anything wrong.
But something was very wrong.
She developed pneumonia and that is when a tumour in her lung was discovered. Treatment consisted of taking the top half of her right lung away (a lumpectomy) and then things seemed fine.
Seven years later, Emma noticed a hard area in her left breast. This was triple negative breast cancer. Following on from six months of chemotherapy and radiotherapy, everything again seemed fine.
Then in January 2024, Emma had a lot of pain in her shoulder and neck but simply put it down to her strenuous exercise. She went for her routine mammogram and everything was not fine.
She had a tiny piece of cancer in her breast. Another lumpectomy, course of radiotherapy and chemotherapy later, they found out it had spread. It was secondary and now terminal.
“It was a bit surreal,” says Emma, more than a year after her terminal diagnosis. “After a few days of being shell-shocked, it was just a case of getting up, brushing myself off and saying, right, well, it is what it is, we can’t change it so let’s make the most of it.”
Thankfully, she has more good days than bad days. In the early days, she had a lot of pain. She couldn’t move, couldn’t walk and couldn’t get out of bed. Now, she is up and mobile, doing housework, walking round Tesco and doing community work.
Emma doesn’t want to know how long she’s got left. She knows it’s not going to be long or forever. This is why the speed and urgency of what she wants to do has changed since the diagnosis.
What Emma doesn’t want is for people to treat her differently.
When she first had cancer in 2014, she noticed how people would avoid her. “I hated it, I’m ill with cancer but I’m still me,” she says. “I want everyone to treat me just the same way they always would.
“I want them to come and tell me their gossip, their problems, just as normal,” she says, determined not to let her breast cancer define her.
This time round, as a sort of icebreaker, Emma created her bucket list. It wasn’t overly serious; it was just something to try to make people around her laugh. Some of them included: being driven by an F1 driver, own an Aston Martin, fit into Princess Leia’s gold bikini, go on some lovely holidays and see England win a major tournament.
Unfortunately, England didn’t help after losing the Euros 2024. But she has achieved many others. Much to everyone’s enjoyment, she shared humorous pictures of her in the bikini, went on several holidays with family, and more.
Much of the success was thanks to one of her work friends who set up a GoFundMe page. They raised more than £6,000 to fund her bucket list. “I totally didn’t expect it and to be honest, when they first set up the fund, I was really uncomfortable with it because there’s people out there who needed it more than I did,” she says, although she is grateful for the lovely memories made from the money raised.
Emma has always been one for donating to charity and doing fundraisers, which is one of the reasons why she set up Edith’s Purse. Her aspirations were low, and she didn’t expect it to have such a huge impact on her local community.
Named after her nan, Edith, who also had breast cancer twice, Edith’s Purse is a family-run fundraiser for Fenland families in financial difficulty. For Emma, it’s her legacy.
Emma and her family hope it will become an official entity, where they can start approaching businesses and apply for funding for it to grow even further.
The work she has done through the fundraiser has not gone unrecognised. In March 2024, she received an award from the High Sheriff of Cambridgeshire in recognition of outstanding service through dedication and commitment to the town of Wisbech.
Shortly after the interview with Emma, she found out that her cancer had stopped growing.
She has now gone seven months with no treatment – no chemotherapy or radiation. “I really didn’t expect to be here a year on, I’m a lucky duck,” shared Emma, on Facebook.
She’s looking forward to seeing her daughter, Maggie, graduate this summer and start her new job. She’s excited for the future of Edith’s Purse. And she’s happy to still be here.
“I think I’m very much of the mindset that everybody can help somebody,” says Emma, sitting in a room surrounded by Edith’s Purse donations in her makeshift office, preparing for her next fundraiser event. “It doesn’t matter what situation you’re in yourself, you can always support somebody in some way.”
If you would like to donate to Edith’s Purse, you can do so via PayPal at emfest1975@gmail.com.
