Due to a hugely successful marketing campaign, breast cancer is associated with the colour pink for women despite one per cent of patients being men. Feature writer Molly Lee talks with Jake Messier, who is surrounded by the colour pink, as he battles stage four breast cancer
Jake Messier is surrounded by the colour pink. He’s in a pink world due to one of the most effective branding campaigns in UK health history. In his support groups, he’s surrounded by females.
Ninety-nine per cent of breast cancer patients are women, hence the origin of pink to promote breast cancer awareness. It’s seen as a women’s disease. But there’s 1 per cent of those patients who are men.
When you’re in this pink world, it’s easy to feel out of place and emasculated when going through your diagnosis and treatment. Some men don’t want to wear or be associated with pink. For many, they never even thought they could have breast cancer.
Jake, a 53-year-old man from Western Massachusetts, is a son, a husband, a father and a friend. He’s also a part of that 1 per cent who are male and battle with breast cancer.
“I haven’t allowed it to impact my masculinity,” says Jake, who will happily wear pink. “I guess if it has, it was by getting rid of any remaining toxic masculinity.”
This is Jake’s story.
In spring 2023, Jake felt a lump in his breast area. It took him a couple of months to go and get it checked because he questioned why it would ever be breast cancer when he’s a man.
But he was wrong. It was breast cancer. Although it’s much more common in women, this type of cancer doesn’t discriminate based on your gender. Men are less likely to get breast cancer due to having less breast tissue and lower exposure to oestrogen.
Jake was told he had male breast cancer – invasive ductal carcinoma – in August 2023 and it was stage two. His treatment plan consisted of a mastectomy, 20 weeks of chemotherapy and six weeks of radiation.
“It was difficult telling my wife and kids as I’ve always seen myself as a rock of the family,” says Jake. “So, putting myself into a very vulnerable position with my family was daunting.
“They of course received the news gracefully and kept me going,” he continues.
There was the initial shock to his friend group, as they were surprised it was breast cancer.
The proposed treatment plan did not go smoothly.
His mastectomy turned into having three surgeries in the span of three months. The first surgery didn’t clear all the margins. Cancer cells were found at the edges of the removed tissue, meaning that not all of the tumour had been removed.
After the second surgery was done and the health professionals were planning radiation, they found more tumours which meant yet more surgery.
During the third surgery, one of Jake’s veins in his chest was accidentally cut. “I had to be saved on the table by a cardiovascular team because I was bleeding out,” says Jake, who had no choice but to persevere with rough months.
Yet again, his surgery was unsuccessful. They found more cancerous lymph nodes that they couldn’t reach. It was now stage three.
Not long after, he was told it had metastasized. It spread and it was now stage four.
Every day is a rollercoaster for him. Every day is good and bad. There are times when he’s too ill or just too sick to deal with life to go to his therapist. But what he really appreciates are the people around him who helped when he was going through a mental health crisis.
His core people are his parents, children, family and other friends. “They got Nicole (his wife) and I through this,” says Jake. “They carried us across the finish line a few times.”
Throughout his entire cancer treatment journey, Jake has worked every single day. He was determined for the cancer not to change his day-to-day life. As CEO and founder of HEARD, a marketing and communications agency that exclusively works with non-profit organisations, he can’t really take time off.
On some days, he’d come home from a chemotherapy session and get straight on a work call. That’s the attitude he has when it comes to balancing his cancer and life.
Although he only knows very few men with the same diagnosis, he doesn’t let the condition emasculate him.
“I work in non-profits and I’m a bleeding heart liberal,” says Jake. “I cry all the time, especially lately.”
Jake started his TikTok account (@jakemessier413) three years ago, documenting his life in Western Massachusetts with his wife. He has noticed that his page has three audience categories: his cancer story, people who like his life and the “romance crowd” that love the relationship between him and his wife, Nicole.
When he found out his cancer had metastasized, he decided to capture moments between him and Nicole for the entire weekend, even though it was incredibly hard to do so. The comment section was filled with support, love and prayers.
He has also experienced people saying how his videos have led them to get mammograms, see a health professional and more. Sharing his experience, campaigning and making a difference is important to him.
“Go see your primary care physician and if you don’t have one, go to the emergency room,” says Jake, who always gives out this exact advice. “Go somewhere where a medical professional can check you out and tell you it’s not cancer.
“Chances are it’s not, but here I am sat with stage four cancer.”
It’s not just women with breast cancer
- Main symptoms of breast cancer in men include:
- A lump or swelling in your chest or armpit.
- Liquid leaking from your nipples.
- Changes in size or shape of either side of your chest.
- Sores or ulcers on your chest.
- A change in the shape or look of your nipple.
If you notice any of these above symptoms see a GP to get it checked.
It is important to check your chest regularly, so you know what’s normal for you.
If your symptoms are caused by cancer, finding it early may mean it’s easier to treat.
